super marc

Do you see the pictures move? They are actually static pictures. They move because of optical illusion!

We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below…

Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’

Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: ‘You’re next.’

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.

I have a place to stay in the human body; I sometimes stay in a hotel   called digestive juices, or a motel called blood or brothel called Feme   ekgolo. But mostly in a restaurant called sperm. Everybody knows me!Yebo, yes! I am HIV, the son of AIDS and I was born in one human body during unsafe sex, but I multiplied like a bull. You may ask the   rich, the poor, Blacks, Whites, males, females, doctors, sangomas. They all know me very well as my young brother STD. I attack hundreds of   people all over the world every day. Listen, I will take you one by one,   especially those who hate my Uncle condom. I will take you to   decorate my grave. You will die young.

Africa

knows me, the whole world knows   me.I am HIV, son of AIDS. 

I frequent shebeens and bar lounges and I respect no age. I hide between sexy legs and delicious thighs and big buttocks. Some call me Vigs, SIDA,   Z3,   Koloi ya Elia,   Pumkat,   Bioslim,   Number 1, Matsatsela,   Manyonyoba,   Thubalebotsane and other silly names but I don’t care, because my name is:

HIV son of Aids and I have no friends.

I kill Doctors,Nurses, Lawyers, Teachers, Priests, Professors, Ministers,   Bishops, Street Sweepers and I have got no shame. I will drink your   blood, suck your juices, drain your fat until you are a living skeleton   and from there I will kick you to the grave. You men fasten your   trouser belts You women don’t loosen your panties and G-Strings because I am watching you. The only way you can beat me is to be accompanied by my   uncle Condom whom I hate so much. He is the only one who can try to   defeat me. Mothers hear me, Fathers hear me, Brothers hear me, Sisters   hear me   intellectuals hear me, Stupids hear me,Retards hear me,   Clevers hear me and I am telling you for the last time

"My name is HIV and I have got no friends".

After reading this you must know I am sitting next to you and just one blunder I am going to consume you. Who knows, I may already be in   your blood system so go right now and take blood tests, but if you are   always in the company of my Uncle Condom you need not worry.   My name is HIV son of AIDS and I have no friends!!!

1. IF YOU’RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - Q20 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE Q20. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS

NORMAL

UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.